- Blade 1, 2 & 3. The first problem is that they’ve got Wesley Snipes. The second problem is they’re played like the DVDs are on “repeat.”
- Fast and the Furious. Once a month should be enough for anyone.
- Full Metal Jacket. Great film, but a dead horse.
- Goodfellas. Good movie, but even the Sailors that reported in April know the lines already.
- I Know What You Did Last Summer (because I’ve seen it a million times…).
- 13 Ghosts. Stupid, stupid, stupid. By the end I was hoping that everyone would die. Tony Shaloub ought to be embarassed.
- Clueless. An adaptation of the Bard, or “Shakespeare for Dummies.”
- Con Air. Think FBI agents flying cobras and you can imagine just how dumb this movie is.
- Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Requesting this movie would violate the DoD “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. Even our women aren’t interested.
- Fighting Seabees. Okay, this one will probably ruffle some feathers, but like any good XO, I don’t care. I know it’s got the Duke, but even the Duke had his bad days, right?
- Flight of the Phoenix. No, not that Flight of the Phoenix, the new one. The original was a classic example of a movie that did not need to be remade.
- Grease. Starring John Revolting and Miss Oblivious Newtron Bomb – it’s got to go! Okay, Olivia does look good in leather pants, I’ll give you that.
- Meet the Fockers. Even DeNiro can’t make up for the grating, annoying nature of Ben Stiller.
- Pearl Harbor. Vintage aircraft bomb Burke class DDGs – round file it!
- Planet of the Apes. Mark Wahlberg is not Charlton Heston.
- Reign of Fire. Okay, you got me, it is dumber than 13 Ghosts.
Does this make any sense?:
- Austin Powers 1, and Austin Powers 3. Note that Austin Powers 2 is not included. Doh!
- Back to the Future 2 & 3: See my comments above about the Austin Powers series.
- Mad Max 2 & 3: Show me the Road Warrior!
- American Graffitti. Great movie, and who thought Harrison Ford was ever that young?
- Blues Brothers. “We’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of smokes, and we’re on a mission from God.” ‘Nuff said.
- Bridge on the River Kwai. William Holden and Alec Guinness at their best.
- Count of Monte Cristo. James Caviezel in his pre-God days. It’s got adventure, it’s got intrigue, it’s got romance – great date flick.
- Eiger Sanction. I didn’t even know this was on the list. Damn!
- Miracle. U-S-A! U-S-A! The first sign that the Soviet Union was crumbling was when a bunch of college kids from America beat them at their own game.
- The Professional. I never realized Natalie Portman was in this film until I scanned the list.
- Young Frankenstein. “Oh, sweet mystery of life that now I’ve found you!”
- 40 Days and 40 Nights. Boy pledges to be “master of his domain” for 40 days (what was he thinking?!?).
- Girl Next Door. I’m an Elisha Cuthbert fan and I was a classic, quiet nerd in high school, so this struck a chord. Think Risky Business for the 21st century.
- Legally Blonde. Reese Witherspoon looks like she needs a meal – now, now, now! – but I laughed my a$$ off.
- Memphis Belle. I know it’s about airdales, but I still like it.
- Blazing Saddles. A classic western…sort of. “Where the white women at?”
- Glory. A good depiction of the lengths to which good men will go to further the cause of Freedom.
- Hell in the Pacific. Lone Marine and Japanese aviators struggle for control of a deserted island, and it’s got Lee Marvin.
- Mr. Roberts. Too good a depiction of what the day-to-day routine aboard a ship is like to be omitted.
- Tora! Tora! Tora! A landmark movie in the genre.